Our Miraculous Bodies

A few months ago, my husband and I were driving to a city several hours west of us. We rounded a corner, and my eye caught sight of a young buck standing by the shoulder of the highway. I remember thinking, “Oh no.” A cacophony of sound, sight, and smells flooded my senses.

We couldn’t see through the smoke and broken glass, but somehow instinct took over and my husband steered the car to the shoulder.

We rolled the windows down, took in some fresh air, and looked at each other incredulously, understanding we were very very lucky, even though we weren’t sure how much yet. Shakily, we climbed out of the drivers side of the car.

When a real or perceived threat is detected the body immediately and autonomously coordinates energy with the help of the hormone adrenaline. This organization collaborates in getting the thing away from the body; fight, or getting the body away from the thing; flight. 

However, in the case of something inescapable like a car accident, when neither fight nor flight can succeed, the body collapses into freeze. All three responses can reduce suffering, pain, and are as brilliant as they are merciful. 

Freeze as a concept is as complex as it is also a little confusing. The body can appear calm and steady on the outside. But inside, there’s a mess or mass (or both) of unresolved energy swirling around with nowhere to go. 

That energy was swirling around in my body. I could feel it in the inability to fully exhale, in my attempts to talk without a wobble in my voice, and my shaky hands and legs. 

Because my training taught me to expect this energy, there were parts that could gently pay attention. My awareness went to those parts of my body that felt tight and shaky. I’m certain I had a thought along the lines of “it’s ok now, you just survived what could have been a fatal accident and you’re in one piece! It’s safe to let some of that energy go.”

Serendipitously, my husband was right there and I leaned into him for a hug. My body started shaking rather uncontrollably and crying. His did a little of that too. A few minutes later I felt a little calmer, and little more steady. I suspected there was more energy to resolve, but it was a good start.

Navigating a car accident—or any event the body deems stressful—is tricky business. To be clear, when this energy stays stuck, it causes trauma. Trauma is simply dressed up energy with nowhere to go. My body will process the stress response differently than yours, and what causes stress in my body may not cause stress in yours at all. Though I don’t know anyone who experiences a car accident that doesn’t also navigate the freeze response at some point.

Our bodies are designed to scan for threats, get the threat away, and then move back to a state of rest and digest. But our learned behaviors don’t culture don’t always support our nervous systems getting what they need. For instance, we might believe we’re ok to navigate the experience alone, without support. But loving support from other people can be highly regulating and healing. 

Or we might believe that shaking after an overwhelming event is silly and that keeps the body in a state of shock even when the mind can’t register the deeper truth of the need for release.

The work of somatic experiencing is in part to notice where the stuck energy is and help the person attached to it allow repair to occur. Some people I’ve worked with say things like “I want this out of me,” but it’s not about getting rid of something. It's about helping the body integrate and release the energy, so it no longer holds you captive. 

I will probably work with energy resolution in my body my entire life with more and more nuance. I can’t know where the stuck energy is until a disruptive pattern emerges like sleep or digestive difficulties, or stuck beliefs like “I’m not good enough, or I don’t belong”. There are hundreds if not thousands of behaviors that could indicate stuck energy.

Looking for indications or messages from the body and following them towards the energy that needs to resolve is the work we do together.

No one can know where or when stuck energy will emerge, but I do know that day on the highway, my body told me exactly what it needed. It was an incredible reminder of how my body, and all our bodies, are designed for repair.